maasai mountain

so much writing, I know, it’s overwhelming! pole sana. but there’s a lot to document. if you want my favorite story of this entry just skip to paragraphs 4 and 5.

we worked for a few hours at the clinic and then gladness insisted we take a tea break, though no one was ready to stop. we chugged cups of tea and stuffed some roasted peanuts in our mouths to appease her, then convinced her to continue letting patients in. a few hours later and she insisted we head back for lunch. we were still full from breakfast, pushed beyond comfortable by the tea break, and in no way wanting lunch, but we had it just the same… ugali and spaghetti, the veggie curry and beans and, gasp! an american salad that gladness had learned to make on her visit to the u.s. and prepared using veggies from her garden. I have never been so full! pain, lots of pain. but despite the discomfort the food truly was incredible and greatly appreciated the effort the women put into making our meals.

next it was time to learn how to make chipati. here’s how it goes. you take the chipati flour which I think might just be normal flour. you add salt and you add water and kneed the dough until it is a nice consistency like for bread. you oil it a little so it doesn’t stick to the sides, then take pieces of it and ball it up into neat, fist-sized dough balls. next you roll out the dough balls and spread oil on top (when you hear how much oil it takes to make chipati you’ll understand why they taste so good :) then you cut a line from the middle to the edge and roll the circle into a cone. you wrap the end around tightly and plop it down, smushing the end of the cone into the center so that you have a ball again that resembles an uncooked cinnamon roll (this is what makes the flaky layers once it’s cooked). this is what you roll out and place in a frying pan, with oil, and then more oil, and cook over an open fire, and flip and add more oil and then a little extra oil just for flavor and finally some oil, to make sure it’s all nice and oily and every part has some oil. got it? oh, did I mention you use quite a bit of oil? there is a reason chipati is so delicious and we have discovered the secret! :) we took turns trying the technique, kurt’s was hands down the worst, but thu’s came in at a close second. We ate freshly cooked chipati there in the kitchen when I helped flip the others and it was the best chipati I’ve ever had. I was surprised to learn what an involved process it is. in the city we are always baffled that most places run out of chipati by noon. you’d think they’d realize the demand is there and they’d make more in the morning in preparation for all of the people who show up wanting to chipati in the afternoon. after learning about and helping with the entire process, I understand why only a limited amount is made each day. I’m def gonna have to try making this stuff at home. get excited!

our adventures for the day were not over we were soon in the land cruiser headed for the maasai mountain, a formation made of a granite rock that was super grippe and allowed you to walk right up the 45 degree plus angle of the rock face. it was interesting because gladness was a little nervous. she kept going on about there not being goats or cows around and it was concerning her that there might be lions nearby. I couldn’t tell how much she was joking, but it is possible based on our location. when we got to the top of the rock and took in the 360 degree view it became clear that there wasn’t a hint of civilization in any direction. cool. the only people we saw were some maasai men who drove by on the dirt road far below on motorbikes. that’s quite a scene… if the maasai on bicycles aren’t enough, their blankets flapping in the wind behind them, stick two of them on a motorbike and you’re sure to be entertained. we decided to disregard the threat of lions because we had brought a maasai warrior with us. gladness seemed relatively confident he’d be able to protect us in the event of an attack. standing atop that rock it felt like something out of the king. there was even a sun beam shining down through a hole in the clouds. The hike back down was more of a challenge. The grass was slippery and gladness kept pointing at plants and reminding us to ‘take care’ – I guess there are quite a few plants in the area that cause bad itching on contact. She also fell on her ass at one point and then just goes ‘I wanted to have a sit’ like she had done it on purpose though we all saw the slip. Doesn’t matter where you are, humor is universal. sliding down the rock fighting your momentum took a little more time than running up it using your momentum, and I definitely encountered a snake midway down that made me almost leap completely off the steep incline – I screamed in genuine terror and for those of you who’ve heard my scream you know I probably scared away every lion within a 20 mile radius. By the time we made it to the bottom we were covered in sticky plants and pokey spines and these crazy little of balls of thorns that are so sharp when you try to remove them with your fingers they stick into your skin. I’d classify the area as a fairly hostile environment.

paragraph 4: here’s a story about how I realized maasai warriors are legit. it was during the drive back to the maasai village. we were sweaty and dirty and decorated with brambles from climbing maasai mountain. I was sitting in the far back of the land cruiser with kurt and the maasai warrior, who I think might be gladness’ brother (but I’m not sure), who hung out with us a lot. we were sharing one bench, kurt was sitting across from us. the situation began when thu realized that an inch worm was hitch hiking on her shirt. she wasn’t so keen on the company and I volunteered to take it off and put it outside. I reached forward, got the worm on my finger, and stuck my arm out the back land cruiser window as I tried to shake the sticky little green worm off. my arm was outstretched, my entire forearm out the window, my fingers twisting to try to get the worm to let go. I searched my hand, trying to see if I had succeeded in getting the worm off. I was studying my finger when a series of events happened so quickly the next thing I knew my arm was somehow safely inside the car and the screech of thorny branches was echoing in my ears.

paragraph 5: kurt saw the whole thing and as I sat there in shock, trying to process what had just happened, his jaw literally dropped. so from what he said, and with my intact arm as evidence, the maasai warrior sitting quietly next to me had either seen and/or heard the massive thorned branches hit the side of the car as dr. lace flew down the dirt road. he had instinctively made the connection that my arm, hanging careless out the window, was in eminent danger of being totally mangled… meanwhile I was seriously laddy-daddy-dah all twisting my fingers around and having an absurdly ditsy moment with my hand/arm hanging in peril. the maasai warrior, before I even had time to realize the danger, had managed to grab my arm and pull it safely inside, without so much as touching it to the edge of the window, a mere fraction of a second before the hell plants of death literally tore up the side of the car. chunks of thorns flew in through the open window and I realized that it had been such a narrow miss one of the branches had grazed, ever so slightly, the very tip of my middle finger. I cannot imagine what my arm would have looked like had he not reacted so quickly but I felt truly fortunate to have been sitting next to a maasai warrior. my arm and I feel great affection to him, and I have a whole new respect for the maasai warrior ways. I’ve never been so appreciative of my intact left arm, ever. damn you thorn death bushes from hell, you almost won. thanks maasai guy, you have impeccable senses, lighting fast reflexes, and a stealth like ability to save limbs (that should remain inside the vehicle at all times, but sometimes find their way outside). all of that and with one bum eye. yeah, that’s right, makes the story even more impressive, I know. I am forever in your debt. thanks also for protecting us from lions. that’s how I know the maasai warriors are legit.

we made it back to watch a sunset like nothing I’ve ever seen. it was a huge, glowing red orb so deeply crimson it looked color enhanced. we sat atop a cement wall and watched it sink over the huts to the bellowing of cows and baying of goats. naturally we drew the attention of some local kids so once I had taken more than enough sunset photos with maasai guiding herds of cows home for the night in the foreground, we focused our attention on them. they were just staring up at us, so we decided to entertain. amy kurt and I (not sure where everyone else was) literally busted out ‘in the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight’ and I have to say, considering I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, it sounded pretty descent. they didn’t return the favor by singing to us, but somehow we soon found ourselves in a handstand competition with these kids and that was pretty funny. handstands are apparently just as universal as smiles.

more amazing food, a bucket shower, then sleep… get ready for tomo, it’s a doozy! but that's all i'm giving you for now because it's about a dozen pages of writing and my readers need some time to catch up. i've been away from internet from far too long apparently :)